Me and room are looking for you, the flatmate (West End)

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Hello there!

My flatmate got inspired by JP Sears and is now becoming spiritual somewhere in Bali. So I am looking for a new flatmate to be added to the flat-package.

Are you:
- a mature/postgrad/phd student? (due to council tax; open to discussions)
- dreaming of living on the Byres Road itself?
- happy to do your dishes? or not so happy, but still do?
- able to pay 6 months rent upfront?
- have been accused of having a sense of humor? or at least sometimes crack a smile?
- do turn lights off?
- flush the toilet after use?
If so, then look no further, drop me a line!

The package comes with:
- double bedroom with furniture and even double glazing. DOUBLE GLAZING.
- luxurious posh high-end impressive royal bathroom like no other
- regular opportunities to be a couch potato together
- fish tank
- fully equipped kitchen and living area: couch, hob, fork - it's all here.
- me!

Strictly no to:
- nudists
- smoking inside
- pets (I know, aaw :( ...)
- openly displayed bowel movement checklists
- Leave-voters
Nudists and bowel movement trackers might still be considered.

Price: 312.5/month + internet and bills.
Date: as soon as possible

P.S. Female is my gender, just to be clear.
P.P.S. Decorating home in socks so dirty they don't lose shape of your feet can possibly make me lose the joy of life. If you find such decorative items to be cute and cozy, please, have mercy and go away.